Trust the Reader (and yourself)
- Often times, people can be just like those field mice -- while everything exciting is buzzing around them, they scamper off and hide in their holes, missing out on all the fun because they are too scared.
- He's obviously talking about himself.
Okay, people. It is bad enough when your dialogue almost entirely lacks any subtext. But when you finally put the tiniest drop of it in there, please don't destroy that miniscule bit of positivity by spelling out for the reader that you put it there!
This script contained action statements similar to that last line on at least (no exaggeration) 15-20 different lines. And to have it on even one line would have been inexcusable!
Trust the reader. Trust the actor and the director. Trust your own writing to make the point! You don't need to put directions in there to say, "Hey idiot! Make sure you understand what I'm really saying here! There is more going on that is written on the page!"