Answering the Challenge
The idea is, we all talk a lot about writing, but most of you haven't read any of our writing. So he asks us to post a single page from a script we've written.
It is true that I've already posted 3 1/2 pages that I wrote for the Scribosphere Group Script Project. But here's one more anyway. This is the very first page of a comedy I wrote that awaits one more significant revision. But this page will likely stay as is. I haven't spoken much about this script on here (though I've spoken a relative lot about my vampire western, and a decent bit about my D2DVD horror script). And perhaps I'll talk more about it when I'm into revisions on it. But for now, please enjoy Page 1:
- Over a BLACK SCREEN we HEAR grandly bombastic orchestral music. Think Chariots of Fire or 2001: A Space Odyssey.
- FADE IN:
- A HAMSTER
- runs in SLO-MO on an exercise wheel. More intent than content, he runs and runs and runs.
- Unexpectedly, a mystical fog rolls in. The Hamster perks up. His whiskers twitch as he looks around.
- Gradually, we PULL BACK to reveal the Hamster is inside a massive Habitrail environment. Its vast size is surpassed only by the complexity of its twists and turns. But there's also a beauty to his habitat -- an architectural quality.
- Continuing BACK, we find CARSON GOODMAN (28) with his lips pressed tightly against the end of one of the Habitrail tubes. He is relatively clean cut, with dirty-blonde hair, on the slightly longish side.
- Carson's hand holds a cigarette lighter, and is extended up to the "Observatory" of the Habitrail, high above the rest of the Hamster's living quarters.
- As Carson SUCKS on the end of the Habitrail tube, smoke billows down from the observatory, BUBBLING through the Hamster's water bottle. We FOLLOW it along the twisty tubes of the Habitrail, past the Hamster's exercise area, and finally into Carson's mouth.
- Yes, this is, in fact, the largest bong we've ever seen.
- (exhaling slowly)
- That's goooood. But it'd be a lot cooler if your hamster didn't bogart half the smoke.
- CLOSE ON:
- THE HAMSTER
- No longer on the exercise wheel. He now sits still, staring at the wheel as it spins, around and around, mesmerized by its swirly motion.
- And maybe we spot a little hamster grin forming on his face.
Now let's read some more one-pagers from the rest of y'all!
Tags: screenwriting, scribosphere, writing+comedy