.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Fun Joel's Screenwriting Blog


-- On Screenwriting and Related Topics

My Photo
Location: Los Angeles, CA

I moved from NYC to LA in October, 2003. And though I still think NYC is the greatest city in the world, I'm truly loving life here in the City of Angels. I'm a writer, reader, and occasional picture-taker.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Scribosphere Group Script

Okay, so I knocked out my few pages for Warren's "Scribosphere Group Script Project."

For those of you who have not been following this project, about 20 or so screenwriting bloggers have been contributing 2-3 pages each to a collaborative screenplay. We have not discussed it with each other, and have no idea where it is going. If you read the whole thing, you'll find that it has definitely taken some odd twists and turns along the way. Somewhere after the first few contributors, the story shifted from what appeared to be some sort of spy/action movie to a wacky Sci-Fi thriller.

Admittedly, this is not really my genre, so I decided to use my turn to accomplish a few things. A) I tried to inject a bit of humor into the script. B) I wanted to tie up a few of the dropped loose ends from earlier, and/or bring back a few overlooked characters and subtle plot points/comments. C) I tried to move the story along a bit at the same time.

I ended up writing just over 3 pages for this, and if you haven't read the earlier stuff, these pages will mean virtually nothing to you. So either go read it first, or ignore these!

I'm also testing to see if I successfully added John August's CSS code for screenplay pages on the blog template. Let's see how it goes!

  • The audience buzzes in anticipation as “The Dr. Phil Show” is about to begin.
  • Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of Dr. Phil! Today, the good doc explores the topic of love...
  • An audience member turns to his girlfriend...
  • What else is new?
  • ...in the workplace. One woman reveals a crush on a coworker, and may be in for a bit of a surprise!

  • Dr. Phil/The King waits to come on stage. After a moment, we see Sylvia flit past him in the background.

  • The Venerathian guards hustle a struggling Marqua inside the studio. As they pull him through the doors...
  • WHAM! Sylvia is on one, literally ripping his head from his shoulders. The other drops Marqua and pulls out a gun of sorts. From atop the first, she agilely kicks the gun from the second guard’s hands.
  • Freaked out, the guard decides it would be wise to run for it. Sylvia waits for a moment, gathering her strength.
  • Taking a deep breath, she clamps her hands on the sides of Marqua’s head, and lets loose an ear-splitting SHRIEK. Or in this case, a head splitting one. The second guard’s head EXPLODES from the sound. Sylvia uncovers Marqua’s ears.
  • Don’t worry boys. They’ll grow back in six months or so.
  • Sylvia takes Marqua’s hand, and pulls him down the hall.

  • Will heads for the highway exit.
  • WILL
  • Can’t run without her. Or... Hez.
  • About that, Will. He’s not who you think he is.
  • WILL
  • Funny, he said the same about you.
  • Coates pauses, considering something. Then...
  • Maybe I’m not.
  • He pulls an alien weapon from his pocket. Will notices.
  • WILL
  • You’re an Anogarabe?!
  • The ring. Now.

  • Tucked away behind some hanging cables, we find Sylvia and Marqua. She has him backed into a dark corner.
  • Are you alright? You seem injured.
  • She reaches a hand up and gently strokes his cheek.
  • Or is that what happens to Venerath skin when you get excited? Goldeth knows, Will never let me see it.
  • What are you doing?
  • The eclipse nears. I can’t wait.
  • Her ovipositor extends from her abdomen.

  • The more you get in the mood, the less it will hurt. Just relax... your liver.

  • Dr. Phil talks to his guest, who we only see from behind.
  • DR. PHIL
  • You know the old saying, sweetheart. “A real cowboy knows to keep his longhorns separate from his sheep.” So what makes you think this relationship can work?
  • The REVERSE ANGLE reveals his guest is none other than Alexa.
  • I can tell he likes me. He just needs to know how I feel. But I’m too shy.
  • DR. PHIL
  • Well, honey, here’s your chance!
  • A P.A. leads Nathan onto the stage.
  • (to the P.A.)
  • Are you sure this is the right way?
  • The audience applauds, bringing Nathan to attention. He spots Alexa.
  • Oh! There you are. I--
  • You?!
  • She jumps to her feet, but in doing so, knocks over the coffee table in front of her, spilling a water mug.
  • DR. PHIL
  • What’s wrong, Alexa?
  • It’s not Nathan I love, it’s Will!
  • DR. PHIL
  • Will? My s--?

  • She goes to run from the stage, but slips on the water, and knocks into a heartbroken Nathan. He flies backwards into the flimsy rear wall, and crashes through.
  • It comes crashing down to reveal Sylvia straddling Marqua’s stomach, her ovipositor buried in his chest. Her head is thrown back in ecstasy, as she lets out a moan of pleasure. Marqua responds in kind, his eyes rolling back in rapture.
  • The TV Cameraman follows Dr. Phil as he rushes to them.
  • (to the still-headed Marqua)
  • You!
  • (eyes shifting to Sylvia)
  • And you!

Okay! So there you have it. A real work of art, eh? I must admit I didn't do much revision there. Just kind of knocked it out, so it ain't that great. But I like a few of the ideas and lines I threw in there. Hope everyone else does too!

UPDATE: Looks like the CSS script didn't really work, but I'll fix it when I figure it out!

UPDATE THE SECOND: I have partially figured out the formatting issue, by removing some other bit of code from my template, but it is not my ideal solution. Hopefully I will find a more elegant solution down the road (and I've got a question out to someone who might be able to help). But at least this resembles a screenplay page a bit more, so it's all good for now.

Tags: , , , , ,


Anonymous Moses said...

Like what you did with the script and the page layout look fine to me. I might have to borrow that css code myself. Pretty cool.

6:39 AM  
Blogger Fun Joel said...

Thanks Moses. Yeah, the formatting here worked out okay, with some tweaking I needed to do, but it caused a few glitches in some of my other, previous posts' formatting, since I had to remove some other code. A tradeoff, that I hope to resolve somehow, down the road a bit.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

I love it. A lot accomplished in just over three pages. Good to see Alexa hasn't changed a bit. Very fun pages, Fun Joel!

9:52 AM  
Blogger Fun Joel said...

Much obliged Trish! :-)

8:10 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home